FRIENDS

Motherhood brings a long a lot of changes, but the one you least prepare for is possibly one of the biggest - the changes that happen to your friendships.

From the moment I announced my pregnancy with E, I noticed changes begin to happen. And now, with E at almost 22 months, there are at least three people who I no longer consider friends or important people in my life. Funnily enough, not one of them is married or a parent - I think that says a lot.

Once you enter the crazy club of motherhood your whole world changes and time just runs away from you. Your priorities change and things become less important. Pre pregnancy I used to have my nails done every fortnight and my brows done every six weeks. Since E has been born I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had both of these done!

In the first few months after E was born, I tried to make sure that I replied to messages ASAP, and always apologised for lateness in responding. As PNA took hold, I couldn’t leave E and probably became a bit distant. It was in those months that my true friends showed up. It was also in those months that others faded away. They couldn’t deal with not being my priority anymore, they weren’t happy that it might take me 36 hours to reply to a message, they couldn’t cope with my PNA and they no longer had anything in common with me - they walked out of my life and I closed the door behind them.

Now. During that time, I discovered who my real friends were. The friends who would just text “how are you today?” The ones who wanted to see me but knew I couldn’t face going out so messaged with “I’ll bring cake, and come to you.” The ones who listened to my overthinking brain - from as far away as Bahrain. The ones who sent cards in the post just to say I was smashing it at life. And of course, as mentioned in previous posts, my three girls from baby group.

The light shone on my true friends and family. The ones who understood and could empathise or even just sympathise. The ones who built me up and made me realise I wasn’t the worst mum in the world just because E preferred to be spoon fed rather than baby led weaning.

As you enter the new world of motherhood there are enough changes to navigate without having to deal with selfish, inconsiderate humans.

I guess what I’m trying to say, is that if someone chooses to walk away because all you did was have a baby - let them go. That tiny human needs you more than anyone else right now, and the true friends will ALWAYS be there. Whatever the weather.